A Mid-Winters Afternoon Daydream

Snow. It is a beautiful thing. Majestic, pure, white, and peaceful. Seems like God's work at his finest. It is always nice to look outside your window in your hot room and stare at this beautiful thing without the interference known as the cold. I used to love Winter. I used to love everything about it. But after coming to Cold Culver Stockton I realized that I couldn't deal with it for that long. I realized that I do not like Winter at all. The only thing I like about the season is two things, Christmas and the scene. When I say scene, I mean the look of Winter. Not the feel. Cold stinks. But dead trees and snow are amazing. And thats about it. Especially when you are single. Because I know that there is nothing better than being able to cuddle up and watch a good movie in a warm room with a warm relationship. Nothing is better. But when you are single, the warmth of the room dies down and even if there are ten people in the room watching LOST, you still feel alone. The only person right by your side the whole time is God. And Jack Sheppard. When I woke up this morning to go to Delta Upsilon's Initiation, the weather was my favorite weather. A brisk, damp mist where you can smell the rain that has previously fallen and you can feel the mist and cold pulling on the inside of your nose. Chicago. My dream city. I know it is cold but the city is amazing and the weather is "clean" if that makes sense. I love it. And I can't wait for summer.

My Mood Tonight. Stream of Consciousness.

So it is Friday night. Almost everyone in Canton is at OC's Christmas Party and me, Rylan, David Lee, and Eric are sitting in my room just sitting on Facebook and debating on watching a movie. It is hot in this room. Whenever it is hot in a room, I get edgy. I don't like being in this kind of mood. People are talking. But I don't listen. I write. Or I try to. Its been a long day. Scratch that, its been a long night. People coming in and out of the room, yelling, talking about things that don't matter, bad planning for hanging out with people, etc. What a great Friday night huh? What do i need to be doing? Anything but just sitting here. I need to be at least watching a movie, listening to music, having real conversation. Am I going to? Probably not. But I think this is one of the nights that I need to be alone, outside, reading, in a dark room, something. Anything. I can't wait for break, where I can wake up, work out, play piano and guitar all day, and then go to sleep. It will be amazing. But will I miss anyone? A select few. And they know who they are. But there I go again, making music and God my number one priorities. Which I am perfectly fine with. Would I rather be alone and have music? Yes. Because with music, you are not alone. You can change people with your music. And right now, it seems like tonight would be perfect. This writing thing does help. I recommend trying if you haven't already. God Bless.

Music

Why should people appreciate music? This question was asked to me by my brother Rylan Swank. Since i am going to be a music teacher I think it is imperative that I show what I think music means to me and what it should mean to the world and why people should appreciate it.
Music is not just a form of expression. Music is a way of life for many people across the world. For me as well. I have grown up with music as a vital part of my entire life. Music changes my outlook on life. Like it can change yours. Music can help you understand what other people from different cultures, generations, and countries are going through. People can show through song and music the feelings that are trapped inside of them where no other form of expression can express it.
Music can also be used to express your own feelings. More often that not, people use other's music to "vent" their feelings, whether those feelings are for good or bad. and Music doesn't necessarily mean it has to be with lyrics. Some of the most moving pieces of music I know are instrumental. And Another way is to write music. I love writing music and it makes me happy because i can show my true feelings for something or someone.
Music is a way of life for everyone and I suggest listening to as much music as you can while you can! because you just may learn that you actually don't hate country music, or that classical music calms you down after a long day, and that music is what you are and can define what you believe.
So keep listening, keep playing, and keep writing. :). Let music be who you are.  Music= life=music. :)

Culver-Stockton College(Why does it lose students?)

So I know I haven't posted anything in a while. And it was bothering me. But now that I actually have a little bit more time on my hands because shows are done at Six Flags, I can get back to writing. This post is going to be about why Culver-Stockton loses a lot of students. The retention rates at Culver are not very good. And I believe there are definitely a few options when it comes to fixing this problem. I will divulge into some of these. But there is one solution that I think could help this college extremely. And I know this will make many people mad. But this blog is for my beliefs, not yours.

So everyone knows that Culver Stockton's Athletics are not the greatest. And thats fine. I have many friends in the Athletic department and I am NOT trying to put them down by any means. But the problem is that athletes come here expecting to do great things, (and why not?). But what they have to realize is that it takes a long time to rebuild. This holds true to not only sports teams but for any organization looking to restructure. You can't just add a few new "players" or push a button and expect things to just happen. So when athletes come here and are mad that they only win one game, (which for football was the first win since 07.) So the athletes need to be smarter about their choices when almost half of the freshman team is leaving due to reasons like previously stated. In all honesty, I don't think Culver-Stockton should have a football team. If you were to take out Football, retention rates would be much more positive for freshman, and a lot of money would not be wasted. I agree, football gives people the chance for the college experience with scholarships and such. So do many other fields. And you are not going to play professional football, statistically speaking, so find out what you are actually going to do in life! The money being wasted on our football team needs to be saved or put into another department, whether that be English, Science, Business, Fine Arts, or Math. There were a few colleges where I was looking that didn't have a football team. One example of this was Drury University in Springfield, Missouri. They did not have a football team, and for good reason I believe. This gave the opportunity to have more money available for scholarships in other programs or fields of study. Drury's campus is a bit larger than Culver's, but Drury was smart enough to say, "We have very few students as it is, Why have our retention rates go down when athletes see that our sports teams can't do very good against school over ten times our size like Lindenwood. Lindenwood beat Culver Stockton 90-19. Yes, Lindenwood let the score get out of hand, but why not? It was their homecoming and they were playing a school of less than one thousand people. Schools like Lindenwood should be able to have football teams. Culver-Stockton should not. And this is something relatively minor in my mind that could help.

Another thing, is the campus housing. The dorms are either very nice, or not at all. I live in Shannon Hall, which is one of the two Freshman dorms. The dorms over in Wood Hall are much nicer in my opinion. And of course that is the dorm recommended to show on tours, (I am a tour guide.) Wood Hall also has carpeting and air conditioning. Yes, Air Conditioning. I find it odd that a school where the overall cost is a little less than 30 grand, that there are any buildings that do not have air conditioning. There are two off of the top of my head that I know do not have air conditioning, Shannon Hall, and Tau Kappa Epsilon's house. Once people get here, they hear about, and see, how great other people's dorms are in other places. I agree, that you shouldn't be in your dorm that much to begin with, but it would be nice to have more than two plugins in a room for two people. And it would be nice to not have to turn EVERYTHING off in the room to microwave some popcorn or anything. In Shannon, you have to be careful with what you have on at the same time. I have to unplug my refrigerator to microwave anything. It is just some minor things that eventually get to people. Hint to incoming freshman anywhere: ask to see the worst possible place you could be staying if you went to that school.

And now it comes to what I believe is the most essential reason why Culver is losing students. And this is also where I may lose a few acquaintanceships and followers, but it is things like this why I have a blog in the first place. Culver Stockton is a religiously affiliated college. Culver Stockton is affiliated with The Disciples of Christ church. And through this church come a lot of funds for our school. Now, you do not have to be a Disciples of Christ member to be enrolled in the college, which is a good thing, because I am not a member. I am a Christian, as many of you probably already know. I was raised mostly Methodist and have gone to a lot of Non-denominational Christian Churches and even Baptist. I read and live by the Bible and Jesus Christ my Savior and I show no shame in saying that. But going back to my point, I am involved in two religious organizations on campus, this includes DOC which is Disciples on Campus. DOC does some bible studies and some outreach programs in the meantime. And the other organization is CIA which is Christians In Action. This is much like DOC except the main goal in CIA is to come together as a body of believers in Christ. It is to create a community of friends who share similar beliefs. And in these organizations, this is what grinds my gears, there are a total of roughly 20 people involved in both of these organizations, combined. Loosely affiliated and no longer affiliated are two different things. And just because the sign on the front of campus says CULVER-STOCKTON COLLEGE: DISCIPLES OF CHRIST, doesn't mean anything. It is what we do with those words that affiliate us. And if a total of 20 people are in both religious organizations, then something is wrong. As I said earlier, some of our funds come from the DOC church. And if I were in charge of those funds and came to visit Culver-Stockton and saw that this small number of students are actually doing something with the affiliation and with Christ, then I would take away the funding until something was done. After doing the math, the two main religious organizations on campus make up 2.2% of our student body. That is ridiculous. I think Culver Stockton needs a fresh sweep, a clean slate, and a new start. They really need to look at who they are bringing to this Campus, and if that means that the numbers go down, then they go down, they can't get much lower. But I believe that if this Campus turns back to God as their rock instead of Athletics and Finances, then the rest will come after. "Through God, All things are possible"- Matthew 19:26. Culver needs to get back to their "roots." I believe they, we, have strayed from what this college is supposed to be, a Christian College. I have grown closer to Christ and God since coming to Culver, but I am luckily one of the 2.2 %. If God is our Rock, the hard times will soon be past and things like Finances and Athletics will thrive in due time. It's time to make a change at Culver-Stockton. And I am ready to lead it if need be. And this does not mean lets sign a petition and revamp this college, this means I am looking for a large group of people looking to do good things with this campus and redefine what Culver Stockton College is. And I believe this is something that CIA can be. Culver Stockton needs a change, and I believe that we can do it!

Note: CIA meets Mondays at 9 p.m. in the PAC in the Chapel. DOC meets Mondays at 6 p.m. in Johnson 112.





Culver is full of great people who are going to do great things in life, no doubt. And Culver Stockton is a great College full of great opportunities. I have made friends for life that are outside of that 2.2%. And that will always be.

Going Away

So its 2 a.m. and I am sitting in my room thinking about all of the things and people I will miss when I go away to college in a few weeks. And now that I look back, there are a lot of things I have taken for granted and people as well. I am going to miss sticky summer nights playing baseball or football in the backyard until we could barely walk. I am going to miss my mom making sweet tea for those summer nights. I am going to miss my cat KC. I am going to miss all of my friends I have made over the years at Fort Zumwalt and Warrenton. From Fort Zumwalt, I'm going to miss my friend Tyler Wirkus who I would watch Lost with until the sun came up ALL winter break long. And yes, we did watch 5 seasons of Lost during winter break. I'm going to miss Josh Hayden, whom I've known for almost 13 years now. Josh has been my most consistent friend I've ever had.  I'm going to miss Kevin Spies, Danny Clemens, and Chaz McPeek, who together we have enough inside jokes to literally write a book. I'm going to miss Lindsay Smith who made my senior year that much better :). And from Warrenton, Brandon Griggs and Eddie Coleman who have always and will always be there for me. I am also going to miss home cooking. It may not have been the best every night, but it is free and it really was pretty good. I am going to miss my mom the most more than likely. I know that sounds weird and cheesy to say but my mom is amazing. From fighting off cancer like its a mosquito about to bite her, to building middle school choirs half the size of the school. She is an amazing woman and the strongest person I know in my entire life. My dad has always been such an awesome person too. Over the past few years I haven't gotten to see him nearly as much with the "every other weekend" rule. And I hope he knows it isn't because I don't love him nearly as much. I love him with all my heart. He is so persistent and strong. Times can be hard but I know he will support me no matter what I do. I love you Mom and Dad. I'm going to miss Six Flags, even though I am auditioning next summer and for Frightfest as well most likely. Tyler Whiteman, you have been my best friend for the past year now. It seems no matter how sucky our day has been we can always be there for each other to make each other laugh. You are just like me and I want to be like you when I get to be your age. You are an awesome friend. I am also going to miss the peace of mind I had knowing that I would get to have my own room every night. I am probably going to add on to this post soon because I am dog tired and I need sleep. But thank you for reading and I am sorry if this sounded like an Oscar acceptance speech. hahaha

High School

High School. Everyone experiences it in a different way than anyone else. I wanted to share my experiences and maybe even some advice on future high schoolers or even current ones. First off, I would like to note that you do NOT need lots and lots of friends to have a great time in high school. For instance, my last year of high school I decided to switch schools to graduate a year early. But I only knew people from my choirs, or at least, those were the only people I had ever decided to hang out with. And it was by far the best year of school ever. Not because I graduated or it was my senior year, but because I met the most amazing friends anyone could ask for. You only need a handful of friends to be happy, if any. And speaking of friends, don't feel like you need to be friends with people that aren't like you. THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! And if you are patient enough they will find you. This also holds true to boyfriends and girlfriends. If you do not rush in to any relationship whatsoever, you will find a great friend. Also, get out of your house. Many people I know stayed home way too much in high school. Get out and do something. Maybe even go to the movies or sporting events. Those are the things you remember. Not watching reruns of The Fresh Prince. And another thing, do not be afraid to spend money. But spend it on things like the movies, or going out to eat with friends. Don't buy lots of CD's and movies. Because when life comes to the sudden halt that is death, the only thing people remember is the impact you had on their lives and the moments you shared. Not the great taste in clothes and music. And if you have a crush on someone, tell them, and do not be ashamed once you say it. Because if you do not say it, you will go home that night that much more afraid to tell them the next day. And try not to miss any school. Because one day  of missed math classes means one chapter of not knowing what the heck is going on. Study. Smile at people you do not know in the hallway. Maybe even try a thing called eye contact (it works, trust me.) And don't listen to rumors and don't even think about starting one. If you have a problem with someone, let them know as professional as possible and then go on your way. And don't screw people over. I've done that enough for all of you. And if it so happens that you hut someone really bad. Apologize. Do NOT be like me and just stop talking all together to the people you care the most about. Thats what I did. If i got scared, I would stop talking all together cold turkey. Be nice to everyone. ESPECIALLY if you don't like them. It will help in the long run. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I hate to use cliches but it is a roller coaster. You WILL feel like you are on top of the world. You WILL feel like giving up at the lowest points. And sometimes your eyes will be closed because you are scared. But just know that this roller coaster won't crash. You will make it in the end. I believe in everything that breathes. Enjoy it while you can. Thank you all. I hope everyone likes this post. Sorry its on the short side.

A Six Flags Summer

Summer is a much anticipated season, probably the most anticipated season of the four. What's funny about summer is that people look so forward to it throughout the bleak and cold winter that when summer comes, they long for the cold. It seems that this seems to be the pattern for people's lives in today's world. Whenever someone wants a certain thing, they soon want what they gave up to get the said "thing." The most common example of this is money. Most of the time people buy stuff erratically and in the moment, then regret it soon. Much like summertime. And in my situation, I wanted summer to come for Six Flags. Yes, this meant money! But it also meant being able to be with my friends for 10 hours a day for six days a week! Yet, being in the midst of another great summer, I sit here longing for school to start in the fall. I can't wait for college. But being back in my dark room in the basement, I can still be happy, more than happy, to go to Six Flags everyday to work. I love driving the scenic route 109 to Six Flags everyday where the trees outgrow the sunlight causing shadows to win every time. However, I do not enjoy the Lemon-Lime Highlighter shirts for the workers or the 2 mile hike to my venue. But for some reason, in the dingy, musty, and just plain old Miss Kitty's Saloon, the smell of fresh cooked turkey legs doesn't haunt me, but it gives a sense of comfortability as soon as I walk behind Miss Kitty's. Smell seems to be one the most bewildering senses. It is the one sense that you can...well...sense without knowing what it is. This is hard to explain. For example, whenever you are at a candle shop and catch a hint of a certain smell that brings you back to somewhere vague. Maybe even an old house that you used to live in as a young child. Also, the smell of blacktop is one that I will smell in the cold winter and be able to go back to the warmth of mid-summer at Six Flags. I also enjoy going to the employee cafe, "All Star's", even though the food there ranges from "edible to mediocre" according to my favorite sound tech Shannon. The sounds of Six Flags is another thing. The ever sounding coasters and the chatter of random guests who view me as a random worker, or the "Park Sound." For those of you that do not know what Park Sound is, it's basically a radio station for Six Flags that plays a total of 20 songs. Yes, that seems like a pretty good idea until you hear those songs 20 times a day. 20 songs multiplied by 20 times a day equals way too much subconscious memorization. But Six Flags has allowed me to mature in years past my age on paper, which last time I checked was 17. The friendships I have made will last a lifetime and I hope my future summers remain singing and dancing at Six Flags Saint Louis just plain living the life. And back to the longing for what you've lost. Remember to live in the moment and not worry about what has happened or what is going to happen. The only thing you need to worry about is what is happening right in this very second! I hope everyone is enjoying their summer so far, and I hope you are longing for the moment, not the future. Thank you all!

Changes in Me

So this post is going to be about me and how I have changed over the past year or two. If you were/are close to me, I am sure that you have noticed a few changes in me. I haven't been texting or just plain talking to any of my friends as much as I should be. I do not talk nearly as much, or when I do, it is much more pessimistic and short. And these changes aren't for any reasons such as "I've matured, grown up, or even bettered myself." Because in my belief, these changes aren't for the better at all. This post is basically an apology to everyone I have shunned or pushed away because of the said changes. So.... I am sorry. Please message me, text, call, etc. if I've done so  recently. I want to apologize to you, not at you. I just wanted to get this off of my shoulders. I am working on becoming a better person in all aspects of my life before it is too habitual to change. Thank you all.

Immaturity

So I was looking over my Facebook and Formspring and it got me to thinking about how immature people really are. Sure a lot of you may say..."Well You aren't one to talk!" And I agree, I can be immature, BUT, there are times when you can be immature and there are times you can not. Like during the Glow in the Park Parade, not okay to be immature. But at home with friends, it may be a little bit more okay. Immaturity and Professionalism seem to somehow clash into each other with Immaturity winning every time at Six Flags. Yes, I have friends at Six Flags, but in all honesty, there are maybe 10 out of the 100 entertainment people that I would be okay with hanging out with. And you probably know who you are. Now there are people that I can talk to and joke around with that are acquaintances. And then there are people that I can't stand. And being the person that I was brought up, I put up with them and maybe even laugh with them. It may be fake but I want to be a nice person. Remember, I said want. So if I have made you mad recently I am sorry. But why on earth do people insist on being the center of attention no matter where they go. And i do realize that most of the people that desire this, do not realize how far they go to be the center of attention. From talking abnormally loud, to dating different people, to starting rumors. And there is the subconscious mind drilled into their minds from being the center of attention at a younger age, and so it sticks with them. They feel threatened when someone else is the pinnacle of everyone's attention. So they go out on a limb and do and say as they see fit for the situation. On a final note, I do not hold myself as a 17 year old. That is why I graduated early. I cant stand most high schoolers. In fact, I am not looking forward to college because of immature people. But seriously people, grow up. We all have growing up to do. ALL of us. Stop making life like high school. I know that is what everyone says, but lets maybe make a difference. Maybe smile at someone you dont know. Say hello to a stranger. Even something as little as eye contact can make a huge difference. And lastly, do not mutter things under your breathe at anyone. PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU. Sorry if this comes off as rude. And if this offends you, then chances are you are not one of the people I am talking about. :). Sorry again if this was interpreted the wrong way. My next posts will be up soon.